Sunday, October 16, 2005

Never join a queue, or give a granny an even break



"Of course the weekends are different, after eight o'clock you get your whores and thieves, but you will be OK in the mornings, cos that is the time when the grannies do their shopping. It is a different clientelle on a Saturday morning, you get your cripples and disabled, the blind and the senile, and they present a different set of problems to your whores and thieves. Simple ex niin?

So the idea is this... never ever join a queue. Some people will join a queue just to see what is at the end of it. Look at all those idiots who go to Stockmans for their "Crazy Days" They will queue up around the block just becasue they think they will get a bargain. Queuing is for idiots. If you ever find yourself in a queue always make sure you are always first in line. That way you can get in and out quick. Simple ex niin?

And where are the business men at the weekends? I'll tell you where they are... resting. You won't get any rides from Nokia house or Kielaniemi because there is nobody there. The weekend is for grannies in the morning and whores at night time. Simple ex niin? And what do you do if you get a whore that won't pay? They give you lip, they try to cheat you. Listen!!! when they give a service they expect to be paid for it, so it is just the same for us. we drive a taxi and provided a service and we should get paid when we have done our job good, ex niin?

If they don't pay, I'll have their telephone off them, or their passport, or their gold bracelet, and I give them one week to come up with the money. If they ask me to bring their telephone to them I set the meter running and charge them for that trip too. Time is money, and I am providing a service... fair's fair, ex niin? If they can't be bothered to collect their stuff after a week I take it to the pawnshop and ask for just enough money to cover the original trip and my expenses. When they call about a month later and ask for their phone. I send them the pawnshop ticket and tell them to go reclaim it. It's their headache then what to do. None of this would have happened if they had stumped up in the first place. Don't make headaches for yourself. Simple ex niin?

But watch out for those grannies too. Picked up a granny at Iso Omena and she wanted to be taken to Itäkeskus to deliver christmas presents to her two daughters. I drive her there and she jumps out of the taxi with all of her bags, but leaves a big plastic bag with more christmas present in it for her other daughter. Says she'll be right back, and I believe her 'cos butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. She never comes back and has skiped out of the taxi without paying, but I think I'm OK since she has left the big plastic bag full of Christmas presents. Like hell she did... it was full of empty milk cartoons. I ask you is that right?"

"the human heart is so desperately wicked"

"You can say that again... but if there were more people like us, then the world would be OK... ex niin?

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