I wonder what a Loo has to be like to win a "loo if the year award"? Is the interior sumptious with walnut bog seats instead of plain plastic? Does it sparkle with chrome and porcelain?
Did they get Carol Smilie to come an give it a make-over? Did Gavin install a shark's fin mirror in the stalls where you point the peter? Was there an MTV team involved for a special edition of "Pimp my bog" What did it smell like? No traces of the after effects of the friday night curry, instead Ozzie and Jillie would sniff the air as though it were a fine wine and proclaim it to be positivey redolent with the scent of Zephirine Drouhin the antique climbing rose, with just a hint of 18th century leather saddlebags suffused with the prespiration of a lady out fox-hunting.
And why has it failed to win any rewards in the interveening years? Has it fallen into disrepute? Has there been a scandal because it became such a huge tourist attraction, that long queues of men stood outside waiting to get in, and the police were less than understanding? Has it been overworked and there has been a colossal failure in the plumbing, and it would take a big job to get it fixed and restore its reputation of being the finest loo in Canterbury?
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